I STILL HAVE SHITTY DAYS, AND THAT'S OK!

---

I’ve been asked if I have bad days or if I am always happy and smiling. I

love this question because it confirms the internal work I am doing on myself is expanding and being noticed by those around me. But people are disappointed when I don't say every day is rainbows and unicorns.

Yes, I still have shitty days. I am not immune to pain, anger, sadness, or anxiety just because I am consciously working on being my authentic self. I still fall back into old patterns and behaviors.

That usually prompts the question, “Why do you do the work if nothing changes?”

Everything changes!! Doing the work and changing your mindset affects every part of your life. You see things differently, you hear things differently, and you feel things differently. You become aware of your thoughts and how your thoughts make you feel. You get to choose if you want to react out of ego or respond from your heart.

You don't do the work to avoid feeling the "bad" stuff. You do the work so you can embrace the "bad" stuff and come out stronger on the other side.

Every single thought is an opportunity to either make your life better, keep it the same, or make it worse. Depending on what you read, a person averages around 6,500 thoughts per day. Think about the power YOU have in your own life. You have 6,500 chances each day to improve your life just through your thoughts.

I do the work so I can take advantage of as many of those 6,500 opportunities to make my life better. I do the work so I can help others. I do the work so I can look at a seemingly impossible situation and know that nothing is impossible. I do the work because I am worth it.

The next question is usually, “If you are improving your life so much, why do you still bad days?”

Because I am human, and there’s not much I can do about that. But my worst days now are still better than my bad days before I started working on myself.

I wake up every day knowing I can handle whatever life throws at me. When things don’t work out the way I want them to, I know it’s because there is something better than I could have ever imagined waiting for me.

When life goes from throwing curveballs to being an automatic pitching machine that won’t turn off, I know each ball it throws is an opportunity to learn, grow, heal, or a combo of all three.

When I catch myself falling back into old habits or ways of thinking, I celebrate. Being aware and recognizing the old patterns are signs of growth. It also means I can immediately stop the unwanted behavior that no longer serves me and change it to a behavior that does.

For example, I was at the grocery store yesterday. I saw a sweet friend who was also grocery shopping. She asked how I was doing, and I said, “I am good, but I will be better when I’m done here (grocery shopping).” After I said it, I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? Why would I say that?

I was in a good mood. I wasn’t mad or upset. Grocery shopping is not that bad. So why would I say something so negative?

It was an old behavior of relating to someone through the presumption that everybody dislikes grocery shopping. It sounds harmless enough. We both laughed. It’s just words, right? I wasn’t trying to be negative. So, what’s the big deal?

Words are energy, and when you send negative energy into the universe, it affects you, the person you are talking to, and anyone who may have overheard you. So, the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is not entirely true.

There have been times when breaking a bone would have probably been a lot less painful than the words spoken to me by someone I loved and thought loved me. Words only lose their power through awareness and understanding.

It’s important to be aware that negative words, regardless of the speaker's intentions, can affect you so you can neutralize the energy. It’s equally important, if not more so, to be aware that comments made to hurt you are not a reflection of you. It is a reflection of the person speaking the words.

For example, if someone insults you by commenting on the size of your nose, or making remarks regarding your lack of intelligence, there is something in them that is hurting. It does not in any way, shape, or form excuse their behavior. But once you realize their remark is about their pain and insecurity, the insult no longer has power over you because it was never about you.

If their words still sting a little, ask yourself why. There may be something within you that needs your attention. If you are self-conscious about your nose, don’t let their comment reinforce your feelings. Instead, show yourself compassion. Learn to love your nose because it’s yours and it’s beautiful.

If you are the one making hurtful comments or silently passing judgment, ask yourself what within you needs some love and attention? When you examine the darker parts of yourself, do so without judgment. Acknowledge your weaknesses and insecurities with the same love and compassion you would show to a child.

Each day is a new opportunity to reclaim your power, reframe your perceptions, and redefine old limiting beliefs. Take advantage!! Click the link below to join my Facebook group.

Make my Day Better